


you know and I know and thee know

by ikyrian



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Future Character Death, Gen, Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 00:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11862801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikyrian/pseuds/ikyrian
Summary: After several years of nothing, Natori gets an email from Natsume asking to visit. One hot summer day, he does.





	you know and I know and thee know

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Charles Bukowski poem of same name.

Natori Shuuichi smiled at the sound of young children’s laughter mixing in with the sound of cicadas as he walked down the familiar road to the Fujiwara’s residence. The bright summer day shimmered around him and he quietly anticipated his meeting with his young protégé, Natsume Takashi. They hadn’t spoken in some time and he was looking forward to catching up. He paused for a moment at the front gate, watching two children running around the yard, Touko-san smiling at them from the porch. His movement caught her eye and she turned to look at him; Shuuichi startled at the weariness in her gaze.

“Natori-san!” She called, standing up. “Takashi-kun said that you were visiting today, please come in.”

“Thank you, Fujiwara-san,” he said, coming in the yard all the way and walking into the house. “Is Natsume-kun in?”

Her smile faltered even more. Shuuichi frowned at the bleak look in her eyes and carefully removed his shoes. She seemed to gather herself after a moment, mustering up a smile. “Yes, he’s in his room. Please head up, I’ll bring some snacks.”

“Thank you, Fujiwara-san.” She vanished back towards the kitchen. Shuuichi headed up the stairs, pausing for a moment at Natsume’s open door.

“Ah, Natori-san,” Natsume said, looking up from the book resting in his lap, a small smile on his pale face. Shuuichi stood in the in the doorway taking in his wane figure, like something vital has gone missing from his life. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, it has,” Shuuichi agreed, forcing his feet to move into the room and sit down next to Natsume’s futon. “How have you been?”

It felt like such an inappropriate question to ask when the boy – no, young man – was so very clearly ill. Natsume’s face was very pale, the dark bruises under his eyes sinking them into his face. Though the boy had always been lean, now he seemed to be almost emaciated, the bones and veins in his arms clearly visible. But Shuuichi felt at a loss as to what he should say to him after so many years apart. At the soft question, Natsume’s face turned into a cynical little smile.

“I have seen better days, I must admit,” he said shortly. “And yourself?”

“I can’t complain. Life was going smoothly between acting and exorcising youkai, until a boy I used to know sent me an email asking me to come visit him post haste.”

Natsume’s smile widened a little and became softer around the edges. “I heard you’ve recently been married, as well. Congratulations.”

Shuuichi smiled back at him. “Yes, thank you. We are very happy.”

“I’m glad,” he replied sincerely. “May it always be so.”

“Thank you, Natsume-kun. Or should I call you _sensei_ , now?” He smiled, a wicked gleam in his eye. He pulled out a small book and waved it. “And can I have an autograph?”

“Ahhh, it would be strange coming from you, Natori-san.” Natsume sighed, hands reaching out for the book. He turned it over in his hands, a laugh starting out of him when he reads the title.  “This _would_ be the one you want autographed.”

“How could I not, when I feature so prominently in it?” Shuuichi allowed his expression to settle into what Nyanko-sensei called his “sparkly-brat” look. “I feel I should be asking for royalties.”

Natsume just shook his head, pulling out a small pen and signing his name with a shaky hand. “You were barely a side character in this one, Natori-san.”

“As I recall, I saved the day in this one,” Shuuichi mused, watching Natsume out of the corner of his eye as he huffed a little, a private smile on his face as his fingers traced over the title. He looked back up at Shuuichi.

“Actually, Hiiragi had more to do with the saving then you did.” Natsume smiled that fake, empty smile that served him well on the press tours for his novels, and held out the slim book towards Shuuichi. “It’s all about perspective, Natori-san.”

Shuuichi opened his mouth to say something, when Touko-san’s voice rang out, “I’ve brought some tea and snacks, Takashi-kun, Natori-san!”

She bustled into the small room and placed the tray with the food down on the low table next to Natusme’s bed. She prattled on softly for a few minutes, with Natsume staring up at her with the same look of confused wonderment he always had in the face of her continued love and kindness, even after all of these years.

Shuuichi paused for a long moment after she left, sipping at the cup of tea in his hand, and finally asked, “Why did you call me here today?”

Natsume sighed before nodding at the door. “Please close the door and I will tell you.”

As he got up, he could hear Natsume rustling in his bed beside him. When he turned around, Natsume was staring at picture in his hands. He held it out to him as Shuuichi came back to sit down.

“Who...?” He started, recognizing the child as the girl who was playing in the garden when he came in.

“My ex-wife and daughter,” he replied simply. “Rei.”

“Rei?”

“Yes. After Emi’s grandmother. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“To say the least.”

“When I first got sick, Emi thought she’d be able to handle both me being ill and our young daughter. When the doctor’s couldn’t figure out what was wrong and started to predict that my illness would eventually prove fatal, she left, taking Rei with her.”

“That’s awful, Natsume-kun, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Natsume shrugged philosophically. “It probably wasn’t going to last anyway.”

“What does this have to do with me, though?”

“Last week, Emi called me. She was yelling about how I corrupted our daughter with my tales of the youkai.” Natsume paused, frowning. “The thing is...I never told Rei about them. And I highly doubt she’s been reading my novels. It was a promise I made when we were married and it’s one I intended to keep. I can only assume it means that she sees them herself. I explained this to her, but Emi was still furious, especially since Rei has been telling her siblings about them and scaring them.”

“Oh, dear.”

Natsume rolled his eyes at the understatement. “Yes. So Emi sent her to me for the summer, hopeful that this is just a phase and she’s simply acting out. I’ve been teaching her what I know about youkai so that she can protect herself from them and the people she meets. But...”

“But...” Shuuichi prompted after a few moments.

“Natori-san,” Natsume started. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his courage. “I’m dying. With each name I gave back, I could feel my life slowly draining away.”

“Natsume—”

“I don’t regret it,” he said fiercely. “I could never regret giving back their names, even if this is the end result.”

Shuuichi sighed, looking closely at Natsume, seeing just how little life he has left. Perhaps it is the fate of the Natsume line to fade quickly, only brief sparks of life, as his parents and grandmother did. He wonders, distantly, at the life of small child downstairs.

“How many?” He finally asked. “How many names are left?”

“Just one,” Natsume said, nodding towards some pictures on the wall. “And you know him quite well. He hasn’t been taking this very well, but human lives are so very short to a yokai anyway.”

Shuuichi looked at them, the smiling faces of his high school friends, the Fujiwara’s, and…

“Where’s Nyanko-sensei?” He blurted out, suddenly realizing why he had felt subtly wrong this entire time with no white face glaring out at him, a grumpy old man’s voice scolding him and his shiki. Natsume shrugged, mouth settling into a bitter little twist.

“That, Natori-san, is why I asked you to come.”

+++

Shuuichi slowly made his way down the stairs, head reeling at Natsume’s request. Touko-san stood near the front door, her apron knotted in her hands and face creased with worry. He tried to muster up a smile, but it feels false, uneven and broken, even to him. Her face crumpled even more and she turned away, on hand pressing into her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling like the words are pulled out of him, scraping him raw as they go. The weight that had been gathering from the moment he laid eyes on his young friend crushing his heart. “Fujiwara-san, I’m—”

“Natori-san,” she cut him off, voice choked with the emotions welling up in her. “Natori-san, thank you for coming today.”

He stood at the doorway of this familiar house, in the presence of a familiar kindness, and suddenly _wishes_ , in a way he hasn’t done since he was child, that his life was not bound up in the world of yokai. He felt every single one of his thirty plus years and all the ones that Natsume hasn’t been part of and won’t be in the future in that moment.

 “May I see her?” The breath seems to catch in her, and she stares at him alarmed. “Not to—I don’t want…I could help. Maybe. In the future.”

And it was hard, so hard, trying to force the words out around the weight crushing him. But he has to offer a refuge for the strange things that could come her way, things that the Fujiwara’s might not be able to deal with or simply won’t be around to deal with as time goes on.

Touko-san nodded and leads him out the garden. Rei paused as Touko-san comes into view and rocketed over to her side.

“Grandma, grandma! A new friend has come today!” She cried, and Shuuichi’s heart nearly stops at how much she looks like Natsume. The same coloring, same delicate features, and pale skin. But she was more animated than Natsume ever was, growing up in the loving household of the Fujiwara’s, more open. Rei pointed to where Hiiragi stood next to a young kitsune. “Her name’s Hiiragi!”

“Oh, hello!” Touko-san said, bowing in the direction Rei was pointing. Hiiragi startled a little, but bowed back. “Welcome to our garden.”

“Aki-chan said that she’s really powerful, but she’s nice too! We played tag!” Rei chattered on, telling Touko-san about the adventures she had while she was inside. Touko-san’s soft replies are lost on him as he watched the scene before him. Hiiragi came over to his side while the kitsune bounds over to Rei and Touko.

“Master?”

“Hiiragi.” Was all he could say, before his throat closed up around the words. He struggled for a long moment, eyes heavy on the small family before him. He cleared his throat twice before managing, “I have a job for you.”

“Of course, Master.” She waited a long moment, and he turned to look at her blank mask, long repaired from the damage from when Natsume tried to save her. “…how was your meeting?”

Shuuichi squeezed his eyes shut, but before he could say anything, they’re interrupted by a small voice.

“Grandma wants to know if you’ll be staying for dinner.” Rei asked sweetly, beaming at Hiiragi and glancing over to him. Shuuichi scrapes up a smile, small but as real as he can make it. “I’m Natsume Rei! What’s your name?”

“I’m Natori Shuuichi, a friend of your father’s. We’ll likely be seeing each other more in the future, but we can’t stay for dinner today.” He glances up to catch Touko-san’s eye and she nods, relief evident in her face. “Did you have fun with Hiiragi today?”

“Yes! Is she your friend too?”

“Indeed she is. I’ll make sure to bring her when I come next time, okay?”

“Okay, thank you!” She cried, bouncing on her feet. She turned to Hiiragi and said, “Did you hear that Hiiragi? We can play again later! You want to, don’t you?”

Hiiragi knelt down in front of her and solemnly said, “Of course, little one. It’s a promise.”

“We’ll be going now, Fujiwara-san. Natusme asked me to take care of some things, so I’ll be in touch. Thank you for having us.”

“It was my pleasure, Natori-san,” she replied, bowing. “Rei-chan, come along. Do you want to help me make supper tonight?”

“Can I?” She cried, running back to grab Touko-san’s hand and they walk back to the house. “Can I eat with Daddy tonight?”

“We’ll see…” Their voices fade as they go in and Shuuichi turns to start the long walk back to the train station. As he passed the gate, he spies Shigeru-san coming down the road. They acknowledge one another briefly before continuing on their separate ways. Hiiragi stayed next to him as they walk down the long familiar road, quietly. The cicadas have stopped their song for a moment and the sun continued its slow descent into the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has languished unfinished in my docs folder for literally _years_. After stumbling upon the new seasons of the anime, I decided it was high time to finish up. Unbetaed, so please let me know if you see any errors! Thanks for reading.


End file.
